Drowning Shadows
by bubblegum14u
Summary: *SPOILERS* Sequel to Take a Breath: Now that John is dead Clary doesn’t know what to do with herself. She is in a deep hole of depression that keeps spiraling down. But the only thing that can make her forget is Kieran. But is he good or bad?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: **Hello new and old readers. I must say I am VERY happy. Why you ask? Because I love this story, and I love all of you for loving this story as well. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I am saying now that this chapter may be the last for a long time because my computers broken. My comp has this very unfortunate habit of over heating and shutting down A LOT. So I am sending my computer back to the computer ppl, hopefully they will be able to fix it. I hope you like this chapter and please review. Also I hope you like meeting the "black haired boy". Truth be told I have fallen completely in love with him :) One more thing, after taking into consideration of the pole I have decided that this story will mostly be about how Clary gets involved in the Shadowhunter world. There will also be some Jace and Clary romance but also a romance of another kind.

Also I would like to thank softballtwichick for recommending the name Kieran for the "black haired boys" name.

This chapter is dedicated to **faint-of-hart**!

**Title:** Drowning Shadows

**Summary: ***SPOILERS* Sequel to Take a Breath: Now that John is dead Clary doesn't know what to do with herself. She is in a deep hole of depression that keeps spiraling down. But the only thing that can make her forget is Kieran. But is he good or bad?

_Speaker: Stranger, what do you seek or ask from us?_

_Tamino: Friendship and love._

_Speaker: And are you prepared even if it costs you your life?_

_Tamino: I am._

_-- The Magic Flute by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart_

_"Heart reveals what smiles betray. Your Sunset eyes gave you away." -Strength to Go On by Rise Against._

ONE

Clary watched the small droplets of water fill the puddles on the dirty New York City sidewalk.

That was one of the reasons that she loved spring, the rain. It washed all you problems away and left you with a clean slate.

Clary wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, sucking in the smell. It was the same dinner that John and her had gone their first night in New York City. It brought back so many great memories…and so many horrible ones. Clary had tried to morn and move on, but the fact was she couldn't morn, she just couldn't. She had tried but the tears just wouldn't come. She wouldn't let go, she couldn't.

"Hello, can I sit here?" A voice came from the side of her. Without even answering the boy slid into the seat. He was tall, much taller then Clary. His black hair swept over his royal blue, ice cold eyes. For a moment Clary held her breath and just looked into his eyes. They were so...alluring.  
"So are you going to deny me access to this lovely booth or what?" he asked a hint of a smirk on his face.  
Clary broke contact with his eyes and took a short breath. Still she didn't answer him. He was just some inconsiderate boy with some of the most amazing eyes she ha-  
"may I have a sip?" he asked but then again, didn't wait for her answer. His hand wrapped around her coffee cup as he took a big gulp. His wrists were covered with black, blue and red brackets. He had two piercings above his eye brow. Suddenly Clary got mad, what was he doing sitting down next to her, talking to her, drinking her coffee.  
"So you're just the average emo badass on the block aren't you?" Clary said her face turning red. What did this guy think he was doing?  
"Whoa there little lady. Don't go blowing your top." he said putting his hand up, a small smile playing on his lips.  
"You know what, fine." Clary said, Grabbing her coat, hat and bag and sliding out of the booth.  
"I hope I never se-" but she abruptly stopped speaking because then they were attacked... by a horde of other emo boys. Maybe about five others, but they were all so tall that it seemed like hundreds. They all ran up so quick that Clary was pushed back into the booth, he head falling on the boys hard, toned, muscular chest.

"Pay up, pay up." The boy said totally ignoring her and jumping over the table and sliding out of the booth.

All the other guys groaned and reached into their pockets, pulling out money and slapping it into he black haired boy's hands. They all laughed and yelled at each other until a waitress had to come over and push them all out the door.

After they left the dinner returned to its usual soft, gloomy self, as did Clary. Her thoughts returned to the sadness she had felt in the past months, and how she would give anything to take it all back.

Clary leaned back in the booth, letting her head rest and closing her eyes.

"Why does life have to be so hard?" she whispered letting her pain seep out a little in each word.

"It doesn't." A voice said. Clary flashed her eyes open, but no on was there. Once she closed her eyes again the voice continued. It whispered soft nothings into her ears, comforting her, almost lulling her to sleep. And she forgot about John, about Jace, about everything. Everything that was causing her pain and sorrow. But what surprised Clary the most when looking back on it was that she let herself listen to his words. That she let herself follow his words. That she let herself fall in _love _with his words. Chills traveled down Clary's spine, but she didn't know why because this was the best she had felt since... John. It felt like sun beams were shooting into her body, warming her heart and soul.

"And by the way" the voice said as a closing. "I have lacked to mention my name."

Clary could hear the voice smile.  
"My name is Kieran, Clarrissa. And I do hope you like it because I've seen the future, and we fall in love."


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: **Hi all, I will be shipping my computer off in moments to get fixed, so I thought I might post a chapter. It may be about a week or two before another chapter is posted… Just a warning this chapter gets very intense at the end. Also, many people were asking what happened to Jace. Well we get a little Jace in this chapter and he plays a big role in the overall story.

This chapter is dedicated to **.Aphrodite**! Thanks SO much! And don't forget to review!!

TWO

The walk home was a long and tedious one. All Clary did was stare at the incoming flower buds and think. Well that was all she ever did, think. Think about her parents, think about John, think about Jace, and now Kieran. This guy that came and sat down with her and drank her coffee all for a bet? That just didn't make sense.

"Speaking of guys" Clary mumbled, picking up her phone.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Please." The voice said on the phone.

"Please." It said again when Clary didn't answer.

"Look Jace, I would prefer not to talk about this right now." She sighed.

"When will this be over?" He asked, a plead it his voice.

"I'm not sure. Never, possibly."

"No Clary. I can't wait for "never". I want forever."

"Look who's the poet and doesn't know it!" Clary said sarcastically.

"Seriously" Jace said. "Clary I've told you so many times that I-"

"Don't Jace, just… don't" Clary could hear the pain in her voice. She just didn't want to hear it. She'd heard it so many times before and it only made the pain worse. It only made the guilt grow, the on growing guilt that would never go away.

"Clary!" Jace suddenly screamed into the phone mad. "He would of me, killed _you_, and I just couldn't let him do that! Clary if I hadn't killed John your whole family, my whole family would have been killed by that raging lunatic!"

"Don't. Say. That. About. My. Brother." She said her teeth clenched. The tears had already started.

"John was not your brother! He was a monster!" Jace screamed again frustrated.

"Don't you dare say his name _ever_ again." And with those last words she hung up. First of all, because Jace had no clue what he was talking about. Second of all, because she didn't want him to hear her cry. And third of all, because she loved him, and that scared her. It scared her more then death, which might have been better then what Clary was going through right now.

*****

(Dream Sequence)

"_Jwhon! Jowhon? Where are ywoo?" Clary giggled happily skipping through the trees. "Come out! Come out!" Clary laughed again, bringing her three year old hands up to her three year old mouth. _

"_I'm gonna find ywoo!" Clary looked up at the sky the sun shown bright on the cotton candy colored clouds. Horses jumped from cloud to cloud, calling her to them. Clary reached up her small little chubby hands to the clouds and suddenly she was on a horse's back. Her horse was big and white with pink streak in its hair. Her Mommy and Daddy were behind her both smiling at each other. Everybody was there. But then it dawned on her: Where was John?_

_Then Clary fell off her horse, spinning down to the ground, she let out a small shriek and closed her eyes, waiting for impact. When she opened her eyes again she was standing straight up in a foggy clearing, black forest was behind her, no longer three years old._

"_Love me." John Growled in front of her, pointing a gun in her direction. "Love me." He screamed. Clary fell to her knees, tears filling her eyes. _

"_Love me you Bitch! Love me!" John screamed again, pulling the trigger. But the bullet didn't go into her it went into Jace._

"_NO!" Clary screamed, running towards Jace. _

"_She will never love you." Jace said in a harsh voice as his last words._

"_You never _loved_ me." John said, shook in his eyes. Then John fell dead._

"_WHY?" Clary screamed. "Why does everything I love die!" She cried out, pulling their heads into her lap._

"_I will save you." A voice came from the shadows. Clary opened her eyes, wiping away the tears. All she saw was a pair of striking blue eyes, almost like sapphires. _

_Clary got up, not caring when Jace's and John's heads feel to the dirt ground. Clary followed the pair of eyes. And she knew she would follow that one pair of eyes until her death. _

**Authors Note: **Also below is a little story that I have written. The idea just came to me, the girl in the story is based on me when I was 13… Tell me what you think.

PROLOGUE

Let me just tell you, when a guy puts his hand on your waste it's nothing that you forget. Well maybe some girls would forget it. But not a 13 year old girl who has never been kissed let alone been touched on the waste so many countless time that she can't even remember half of them. When a guy wraps his hand around your back and puts his hand on that curvy part, wow. And even if that guy is a geeky red head with glasses who's breath smells bad and is into thearter, and even if you yourself are into thearter too. (Although you are one of the most clumsy people to ever walk the earth.) And even if he's only putting his hand there for a picture with tons of other people, it dosent matter. It is the first time you have ever been touched in that certain inbetween and the feeling is undescrible.

chapter ONE

5 easy steps on: How to react when a boy touches you on your waste

1. Think about it for a moment.

2. Memorize the feeling of complete bliss.

3. Remember what it felt like when his fingers wrapped around you.

4. Freak out in your head for alittle while.

5. Relax and try to make the moment last forever.

***

Most of you are smart, I'm guessing. You were smart enough to spot this story click on the link and start to read. But you were also dumb enough to read this story because A, you have the same problem as me or B, you do not have the same problem as me.

Now I am sorry if I have insulted you with my words, but if you can't deal with it feel free to x out of this page, no hard feelings.

Now for the few of you who have stuck around you may be asking, what is your problem?

My problem is The following: never been kissed

Sure many girls have this problem, heck at one point the whole entire world has suffered from this problem! But mine is alittle different, but not by much. I'm just a normal teenage girl, new to the world of (dare I say) boys.

This is just another story about just another girl.

This ride will be stopping in about 13 more words, feel free to get off or stay on for another go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:** HELLO! :) I'm so sorry that it has been forever. I just started school and lets just say junior year is NOT that easy. In other news, Cassandra Clare is coming out with a 4th book! If you haven't heard you can go check her blog for more info but basically it says that a 4th book is coming out about Simon, SCORE! And there's also some movie news! Anyway, I hope you like this chapter :) I have just finished planning out this story so hopefully chapters will come out quicker but I'm not sure. I know this chapter is a little boring and short but it needs to happen to get to the good stuff! (like a Clary, Jace make-out session?) PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review! It makes me write faster =)

THREE  
She felt like she was floating.  
She swore she was floating.  
But when she opened her eyes she wasn't floating. She was lying on her bed; sheets sticking to her legs from sweat. She wanted to get up, she needed to get up. Clary needed to prove to herself that she could; that she could overcome this feeling of intense nothingness and get on with her life. Because she knew right now she didn't care, she could just lie here and give up.

Clary looked down at the glob of mystery meat on her plate, pocking it slightly with her fork wondering if it would transform into an evil monster with small black eyes and white pointy fangs and attack her.  
"You wanna know what the mystery is?" Simon asked casually stirring his spoon through the baby food like peas.  
"do I really want to know?" Clary asked not even looking up.  
"no but I'm going to tell you anyway."  
"shoot" Clary still didn't look up.  
Simon smirked and leaned across the table so his lips were almost touching her ear.  
"it's not meat"  
"Ew!" Clary shrieked laughing at her own reaction along with how disgusting it was. Even though Clary felt like she was in a place of uttermost despair with John dead and Jace... Well she didn't know what was up with her and Jace, she tried to mask her pain and laugh as much as possible with people like Simon because he always made her forget about everything and just be happy.  
"I have to go the fantasy club for an emergency meeting" Simon said matter-o-factly.  
"fantasy club?" Clary questioned, smirking as she mixed her pudding around in a cup.  
Simon just ignored her.  
"have a fun time with your meat" he said putting air quotes above his head.  
For a few moments Clary just sat there looking at her food in disgust. Her smile slowly fled her face as part of her world crushed her down. It was always like this, the edges cracked and crumbled and eventually Clary assumed that everything would fail her and she would be crushed by her cold world, and she would finally cry and the world would be an unbearable realm of pain.  
"hey is this seat taken?"

Clary looked up from her food to see a tall boy. He had brown hair, almost black and was staring intently at Clary.

"Oh… uh sure, yea." Clary said looking back down at her food.

"I'm Alec" Alec said sticking out his hand. Clary awkwardly took it and shook.

"Im Clary." She said trying to smile a bit.

"I know." Alec said matter-o-factly.

"You know?" Clary questioned not knowing what he meant by it. Clary noticed Alec stopped looking at her and at his food for the first time since he sat down.

"Well Jace and I are best friends…"

"Oh" Clary said shocked. For some reason she had never though of Jace having friends that were guys but always hanging around with a bunch of girls.

"So that's how I _know_." Alec said. "When Jace needs someone to blab to he blabs to me. Or he doesn't really "blab" I can just tell from his eyes what he's feeling."

Clary lost her train of thought for just a second thinking about Jace's golden eyes.

"He talks about you a lot."

A lot? Clary though. "What does he say?" Clary asked only curious.

Alec immediately brightened up a white gleaming smile showing on his face. Clary could tell from Alec's personality that he had a tough persona. Ready for a fight, but at the same time he was always open for a heart to heart.

"Well he always talks about how you make his stomach go all-" Alec stopped talking abruptly as a hand came down on his shoulder, Isabelle's hand.

"Alec, be a dear and get your little sis a pretzel?" She asked. Alec slid out of his seat giving a sorry smile to Clary and walking away. In one fluid motion Isabelle glided into Alec's seat and laced her fingers together on the table.

"Clary darling." She said reaching across the table and putting a hand on her shoulder. Clary shrugged so Isabelle's hand would fall. She just ignored it.

"Have you spoken to Jace lately? I've been calling and calling." She smirked. She knew exactly what was going on, everyone did. And Clary knew that it wasn't just that Isabelle was mean, but she knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to get it.

"No, I haven't spoken to Jace." Clary said, leaving her lunch and swiftly walking away from this annoyance.


	4. note

hey guys... something weird happened with the last chapter and when the notification was sent out that there was a new chapter it wasnt up. But now its up so be sure to check it out and review! )  
xbubble 


	5. a note for the author

WOW

Its been a long time since I have been on here.

So here's the deal guys (or those of you that have enough patience to wait for me to update this story after so long) :) I haven't really written anything for this story in months, yes you read that correctly, months. Gosh, I remember when I wrote this story basically every night. Retreating into my Jace, Clary, and Kiernan world. I absolutely love this story and I'm glad all of you liked it as well. It really was, and still is some of my better work. Now comes the good and bad news. Well this is bad for you readers and good for me: I am focusing on another story (please don't punch me!) It is not a fanfiction, it is an original story of my own. It takes place in the 18th century and is focused around a girl who is dealing with the problems of a normal teenager. But trust me meeting guys in the 18th century wasn't that easy ;) (its not a cheesy story as I make it out to be though. I really take pride in it because I think it's the best writing I've EVER done.) If you like the Mortal Instruments, the Gemma Doyle Trilogy, Romeo and Juliet (and yes I know it's absolutely outrageous to compare my work to R&J but it has that kind of heated plot.) or just my writing style then I am absolutely POSITIVE that you will like this story. It is called On the Darkest of Nights. I have posted it up on fictionpress under the penname bubblegum14u so be sure to check it out :)

Anyway, thanks so much if you read this whole long thing of mine. Also, if you are disappointed I'm sorry, but it is possible that I will come back to this story later with new found ideas and better plot lines and characters.

Much Love, bubble


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